Encouraging Children to Appreciate Small Achievements
As a parent of a 4-year-old daughter and a 6-year-old son, I know firsthand how easy it can be to get caught up in the big milestones. First steps, first words, graduating from preschool—these are the moments we tend to celebrate with photos, parties, and lots of excitement. But what about the small wins? What about the tiny accomplishments that might not seem like much at first glance but are huge in helping our kids build confidence, motivation, and self-esteem?
In today’s fast-paced world, it can be easy to overlook these little victories. I’ve been there—rushing to get dinner on the table, juggling work deadlines, and trying to keep up with a house that never seems clean for more than five minutes. But over time, I’ve realized how important it is to slow down and help my kids recognize their small successes. Because those small wins? They add up to something much bigger.
Why Celebrating Small Wins Matters
Every time we acknowledge a small achievement, we’re sending a powerful message to our kids: “I see you. I value your effort. You’re capable.” These moments teach children that success isn’t just about big, flashy outcomes—it’s about persistence, learning, and growth.
But here’s the thing: children don’t naturally know how to appreciate small achievements. It’s something they learn from us. If we only cheer them on for big wins, they might start to believe that small steps don’t matter—or worse, feel like they’re not good enough unless they’re achieving something extraordinary. And that’s a heavy burden for little shoulders to carry.
Real-Life Examples: Learning to See the Small Wins
The process of encouraging kids to celebrate small wins begins with us, the parents. Let me share a few moments from my own life where I’ve learned to shift my focus to the small achievements and why it matters.
1. The Morning Shoe Struggle
Every parent knows the chaos of getting out the door in the morning. For weeks, my 4-year-old daughter would get frustrated trying to put on her shoes. Often, I would step in and do it for her, just to save time. But one morning, I decided to let her try—really try. It took her ten minutes, a lot of grumbling, and a few “Mom, help me!” pleas. But she did it. She got her shoes on all by herself.
Instead of rushing her or focusing on how long it took, I knelt down, smiled, and said, “You worked really hard on that, and look—you did it all by yourself! I’m so proud of you.” Her face lit up. That moment was a reminder to me: the victory wasn’t about the shoes. It was about her persistence and problem-solving skills. It was a small win, but one that made her feel capable and confident.
2. Tackling the Fear of the Slide
My son has always been cautious, especially on the playground. For months, he avoided the big slide, sticking to the smaller ones where he felt safe. One afternoon, he stood at the top of the big slide, hesitated, and then climbed back down. I could tell he was frustrated with himself. Instead of saying, “It’s okay, maybe next time,” I said, “You were really brave to climb up there and think about trying it. That’s awesome!”
A week later, he climbed up again, sat at the top, and went down. The beaming smile on his face was priceless. But what stuck with me was how much courage it took for him to even consider trying the slide. That small step—acknowledging his bravery before he even went down—helped him build the confidence to take the next one.
3. The Dinner Table Win
Like many kids, my daughter is a picky eater. One evening, she tried a single bite of broccoli after weeks of refusing to even look at it. I could’ve easily brushed it off—it was just one bite, after all—but instead, I celebrated it. I said, “Wow, you tried something new! That’s a big deal. I’m really proud of you for being adventurous.” She didn’t eat the whole piece (or the rest of the broccoli), but that small win made her feel proud of herself. And you know what? She tried another bite the next week.
The Challenges of Celebrating Small Wins
Of course, this isn’t always easy. As parents, we’re often juggling so much that it can feel impossible to slow down and notice the little things. And sometimes, we get caught in the trap of perfectionism—expecting our kids to get it “just right” before we offer praise. I’ve fallen into that trap myself.
There’s also the fear that by celebrating small wins too much, we might “spoil” our kids or make them overly dependent on praise. But here’s what I’ve learned: celebrating small achievements isn’t about giving empty compliments or participation trophies. It’s about genuinely recognizing effort, progress, and courage. When we do this thoughtfully and authentically, we’re helping our kids develop an internal sense of pride and motivation that will serve them for life.
Common Pitfalls to Avoid
As I’ve worked on encouraging my kids to appreciate small wins, I’ve made plenty of mistakes along the way. Here are a few common “parenting pitfalls” I’ve noticed—and how to avoid them:
- Focusing only on the outcome: It’s tempting to celebrate when your child gets the “right” answer or finishes a task perfectly. But what’s more important is recognizing the effort they put in, even if the result isn’t perfect.
- Overpraising: Kids know when praise isn’t genuine. Instead of saying, “You’re the best artist ever!” try something like, “I love how much detail you put into your drawing.” Be specific and authentic.
- Rushing through the moment: It’s easy to say, “Good job!” and move on, especially when you’re busy. But taking an extra 10 seconds to connect—looking your child in the eye and really acknowledging their effort—makes all the difference.
- Comparing siblings or peers: Avoid saying things like, “See, your brother finished his homework quickly. Why can’t you?” Instead, focus on your child’s individual progress: “I see you’re working hard on this problem. That’s great!”
- Waiting for “big” achievements: Don’t wait for a perfect test score or a big recital to celebrate. The smaller moments—like trying again after a mistake or showing kindness to a friend—are just as important.
Final Thoughts
As parents, we have the incredible privilege of shaping how our children see themselves and the world. By encouraging them to appreciate small achievements, we’re teaching them to value effort, persistence, and growth—qualities that will serve them well throughout their lives.
So the next time your child tries something new, works through a challenge, or takes a small step toward a goal, take a moment to celebrate. Because those small wins? They’re the building blocks of confidence, motivation, and self-esteem. And that’s something worth cheering for.